I'm okay. You're okay.

Thank you everyone for your encouraging words and it's sweet of you to say I'm not a Scrooge.  Even if it made me want to stick my tongue out and yell, "Am so!"  It's good that so many have faith in me.  My husband in an attempt at solidarity told me that he's feeling the same way and that made me even more sad.  I mean, hey, I get it.  Really, I do.  But what would have made me feel better would have been, "Honey, I've got enough Christmas spirit for the both of us!  Bring on the cheer!"  Is it coincidence that cheer and beer rhyme?  I THINK NOT.  Sorry.  Random thought there.  Back on track.

So there were fun festivities in the house in the past few days.  Curly the Elf, a distant cousin (wink wink) of Curly the Clown showed up to do his balloon magic tonight.  He brought his gorgeous wife with him and she is every bit as talented.  She did these amazing face paintings and if my phone camera would show a larger print I would post them here.  But you'd need a magnifying glass and it would just look like someone threw up on Rachael's face.  Not at all like the gorgeous sparkly butterfly that it was.  One of the kids here has been through chemo and has no hair and she painted the fanciest "Christmas" with holly leaves and berries and sparkles across her forehead.  It was awesome.  Then the kids got to meet Santa and I figured out what to get Rachael for Christmas!  Except not.  When he asked her she said, "I don't know."  That makes two of us kid.

I'm starting to make friends and bond which is fantastic but a little bittersweet.  I can't wait to leave but it will be hard.  It's been a long time since I've invested in a new friendship like this.  One family here has a little girl who can (and usually does) have multiple seizures a day.  Seizures that she must be resuscitated from.  So there has to be someone awake in their room 24/7.  She and her 16-year old daughter take turns so it's usually party in Jeannie's room at 2 AM.  Perfect for a night owl like myself but can you imagine?

This morning I inadvertently created some drama and if you are on my facebook you already know about it and realize how stupid I felt.  Long story short I thought... no, I KNEW my wallet had been stolen.  I had searched everywhere, had Tom freeze my card, put signs up in the elevators, cried in the doctor's office and had the whole house thinking we had a thief among us.  And when I decided to search AGAIN in my car I found it.  But hey, the cry was nice and cleansing so that's good.  Did I mention how idiotic I felt?

Rachael is doing well and we only have six more treatments left.  Tom is supposed to come tomorrow but they are predicting 2-4 inches of snow.  Snow!  Can you believe it?  It will be the first time Rachael has ever seen it and I left our camera at home.

Okay, before I sign off, I want to say something to all the people writing me saying that they are reading and sorry they are not commenting and sounding... I don't know... guilty?  Defensive?  The main reason I did a shout out to those who comment most was NOT to make the rest of you feel bad, it was to alleviate my own guilt.  Some of these ladies write to me almost daily and I pretty much never acknowledge their existence right now.  I just wanted them to know that they buoy me and I appreciate them.  It wasn't to make all of the others feel like I think they don't care.  I know you are reading and that you love us.

Now, let's all have a group hug.