People like this blog because it is "real". This might be a bit too "real" but facing cancer is easier than the uncertainty of what to do to help Marc. Everything might turn out just fine but I've come to some realizations lately that have driven me to seek outside help once again. Let me be clear and say that Marc is not violent. He does not hurt other kids, his sister or our pets. He just has no judgment, virtually no self-control and very little empathy. He's always been tough, I just thought as he matured, certain things, like being able to trust him for short periods of time, would happen. That has not happened and I now have a nearly 9 year old boy who most times needs near constant supervision. That feels overwhelming. His issues go beyond this but I love him and .... this just isn't the forum to catalog our struggles.
- With cancer everyone rallies around you and gives your child gifts.
- With behavior problems people shun you.
- With cancer people say things like, "I don't know how you do it. You are so strong. I don't know how I would face it."
- With behavior problems people say things like, "Well, I just don't allow that sort of thing in my house (as if "allowing" it is the problem)." And, "Well have you tried this thing (that of COURSE we have tried because we've tried just about everything) because that's what we did and our child never did it again (which is truly laughable in Marc's case)."
- With cancer people pray for you.
- With behavior problems people judge you.
I'm not saying cancer is a walk in the park but the support is unlike anything I would have imagined. That is HUGE. Sometimes I feel so alone with parenting my son. So when I meet someone who struggles like I do, we cling.
Janine, I get you. I get your fear and your frustration. Hugs and prayers.