Anyway, Curly starts making the standard balloon animals and shapes. A princess crown, a sword, a turtle and lady bug and then he starts making the really elaborate balloons and I found myself starting to warm up to Curly. If I were really rich, I would fly him into my hometown to attend my kids' birthdays. Or just to hang out and entertain me while I make dinner. My world was opened up to not only see the beauty in a balloon but also to make room for one clown. But only one.
It's at this point I want to say, "Glory to God," and that is true but I struggle with that. I'm just typing off the cuff here so go with me for a minute. What if God does not answer prayers about health as a "favor" as it may be to those who pray but for some other reason? We have all known of people who were deeply prayed over by many and who remained sick or died anyway. I think this is what so many people struggle with. Does God play favorites? Why bless them but not me? Or why bless me but allow my friends to experience the death of their three-month old daughter? I think of the man whom Jesus told to get up and walk, and the man did just that for the first time. Was there someone who was also crippled who truly believed and desired to have the same done to him but remained lame? How did he feel? It just makes me think there must, MUST be some greater purpose to healing than simply to make the sick well. I don't have the answer.
Cancer is so indiscriminate. Just in this house there are so many countries represented. There are middle-class white people like me here. There are single moms. There are alcoholics. But they all have their children here and they all pray for healing. And some of these kids will die anyway.
How can I claim God's blessings in my life and then look at the 13-year old girl who was just told she has to have chemo and will now lose her hair. After the surgeries and the radiation burns, now this. We had a good day, yes, but my heart is heavy.
It's not that I'm ungrateful to God for answered prayers, I just don't understand how or why.