Monday, October 26, 2009

My Best Friend

Tom and I decided that we needed some time alone to reconnect and have fun and refocus on each other.  We sent the kids to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for the weekend and headed to San Antonio.  Last time we did this was a little over two years ago when we celebrated our 10th anniversary and we are both so glad we did it again.  It was relaxing and fun and we barely talked about the kids at all.  I told my mom this afternoon that we were flirting with the idea of just not coming back and she said, "Flirt all you want as long as you show up."

Tom and I met a little over 13 years ago and I knew immediately that I never wanted to be far away from him.  I wasn't looking to get married as I had somewhat recently gotten out of a relationship that pretty much destroyed my faith in myself to make a good choice.  But I was so drawn to him.  We worked together and as I got to know him better, I began to feel such a pull that it was nearly painful.  About six months later he finally clued in to the fact that I am totally awesome and he wanted to be with me too.

What I love about our marriage is that we both still feel so lucky to have one another.  I was talking to a friend recently about how usually in a relationship one person loves more than the other.  I spent a good amount of time thinking about who that is in our relationship and I don't think there is an answer.  I think Tom loves marriage more than me.  That's not to say I don't love marriage but I still sometimes think it would be fun to be single.  I wonder what my life would be like.  Not Tom.  He would never want to be single again and I know if something were to happen to me, he would most likely remarry.  And I would be happy for him because I know that in a way it would be honoring to me.  Our marriage is such a safe haven that he would desire that again.

I love marriage but for me, it's marriage to HIM that makes it so sweet.  It's hard to describe my love for my husband without making the internets want to collectively puke but the same things that drew me to him that first moment continue to do so everyday.  How could I have known back then?  It astounds me.

For us, it comes down to this;  We never, ever doubt that we love each other.  We never doubt that we don't want to hurt the other.  Sometimes we do, but we know it's not our intention.  We want the best for each other.  We respect each other immensely.  We make each other laugh.  We have fun and act goofy and still find new ways to enjoy each other.

We have been through major career changes, four long-distance moves, buying two houses, unemployment, financial crisis, and now, a child with cancer and our marriage is so strong for all of it.

This weekend we went to a comedy show and one of the comedians was asking how long couples had been married.  One couple was married the longest at 30 years and the comedian was practically in awe of it.  He was going on and on about what an accomplishment it was and how he could barely wrap his mind around it.  Words cannot express enough the peace that comes from knowing that if, God willing we are both still around, we will see 30, 40, 50 years or more together.  Marriage is work and life along the way makes us both realize that we do have to be vigilant and continue to protect it but it is so sweet.

Thank you for marrying me Tom.  I am the luckiest girl.


  1. That made me smile :) I am glad that God has blessed you with one another!! I am glad that your weekend away was so amazing...those are the best, aren't they??

  2. thanks, Danielle, for your openness. You and Tom WILL have 20, 30, 40, 50 years together, and you will still flirt and be that old couple in the corner booth who holds hands and still laughs at each other's jokes. What a great example to your kids!