It is goooood to be home! Rachael is feeling a whole lot better and Tom and I are going to have a drink now that she is sleeping. She is still hurting at times but she can move much more than she could yesterday which helps. Last night she kept complaining of a mosquito bite on her butt but it was just chafing from laying on her back for so long without being able to turn over. I spent a good portion of my time rubbing her butt. Because that's what moms do, rub their kid's butt all night.
I have gotten a lot of encouraging notes here and on my facebook and a couple through email and it seems a lot of you think that I am "amazing" or "strong" or whatever. I do not feel the least bit of that, and when I witness her going through so much... and the pain. Last night she had to pee really bad. To the point of almost screaming about it but she hurt too much to be able to get up. And the bed pan wasn't working for her because she didn't trust it. It was awful. I finally got her up and the pain was so intense. She looked at me at one point and her face was white as a ghost but the skin around her eyes was sunken and red and it just about killed me but she did it. And today she woke up and told the nurses that she was "good" and through the bouts of continued pain and discomfort she laughed and giggled and as much as she could, she played. Now I know that kids are resilient and bounce back and all that but this little child of mine... she has JOY. And that friends, is unchanged. THAT is amazing. THAT is strength.
What I do is absolutely no different than what any mother would do. What choice do any of us have? But to go through it in the way that she does is something to behold.