I have an appointment today with a counselor. Just two weeks ago I was so sure that the idea of needing any kind of family counseling was so far out of the realm of possibility that I threw out all the information on different programs offered. I wasn't being rebellious or stoic or anything. I just genuinely didn't believe it would be necessary and I was trying to clear some junk out of the paper pile.
This morning was hard. Ever since Rachael was a baby she has HATED sunscreen. Sometimes it was barely worth going to the pool for the battle over the sunscreen. And now I have - HAVE to put it on her every single day. And she hates it so much and so I wake up most mornings with dread because I know she will cry and I will try to be patient but when the mantra of "NO! I'M COLD! I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" starts I have a hard time maintaining my patience. Some mornings she surprises me and it's not too bad. This was not one of those mornings.
It exhausts me and I hate it and it makes me wonder what the counselor will think when I am presumably coming to discuss my son but will most likely need to cry about having to put sunscreen on my daughter.
Danielle, have been reading your blog without posting commenting before. Have been a follower of the MIF since my son Marc was diagnosed with Melanoma Stage 3B late 2007.
ReplyDeleteI think this blog will be a valuable tool for you to "vent" and explore your thought processes throughout the next few months.
Your decision re interferon does not have to be made immediately as you say.
You have the lymphendectomy to go through first and that in itself is not easy.
I don't know if it is the same for children as for adults. How Rachel will cope with the drain, the physiotheraphy, the weakness which may be long term and potential lymphedema. It is in her left armpit so I am hoping she is right handed which will certainly help.
Children are so resiliant and what is a big deal for adults, they can cruise through.
You, Rachel and your family are in many peoples thoughts and prayers
Cindy
Thank you so much Cindy... your words mean a lot to me. Thank you for the reminder that I need to stay in the moment and take things as they come.
ReplyDeleteBTW, we both have a Marc. :)