Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I've been naughty. Can I have my cookie now?

We're going to take a break from our regular programming to bring you an episode of "What the Heck Is That Kid Thinking?!"

Ah Marc.  I haven't mentioned him too much here because this blog was started to update family and friends on Rachael and help me journal through my feelings.  Here are a couple pictures of my son.

He's really cute, right?  God made him that way so we would be inclined to keep him and not send him back.  Ha ha.  Just kidding.  Mostly.  Now before anyone thinks I have a favorite child in Rachael I want to assure you that is not true.  I love Marc with a passion that makes me cry.  Loving him has in fact brought me to tears more times than I can count because I'm always afraid I'm not loving him enough, whereas Rachael has always been easier.  They are both very strong, independent, smart kids and so that can be challenging but Marc has always been a bit... more.  Parents of spirited kids are all nodding thier heads now.  They understand.

Anyway, he has matured so much in the last couple years but continuing to discipline him like I did when he was younger is not working.  I am implementing stronger consequences and he's not exactly saying, "Thank you mother for taking my toys away and giving me extra time in my room so I can consider my actions and change my wayward ways."  No, no.  He is going for the big guns!

"You don't love me anymore!"
"I'm just useless to this family."
"I wish I was never born!"

Tonight I looked at him and blandly said, "This is a consequence.  It doesn't mean we don't love you.  It doesn't mean you are useless.  It means you did something you should not have done and now you have a consequence.  Deal with it in your room."

Let me stop and say that it's not like we haven't had consequences.  We most certainly do, however, I think as he gets older they have to change and become, well... harder.  I wouldn't give him the same consequence in kindergarten as I do now that he is in the 3rd grade.  He should know better now.  Many will disagree and say if I had been tougher when he was younger I wouldn't have problems now but we'll just have to agree to disagree.  I think you do what works at the time and right now, harder consequences are going to work.  Or I might reconsider the cuteness trade-off for not sending him back.  But I digress.

So, we've been implementing harder consequences and I'm not sure he quite gets it.  As a matter of fact I'm pretty certain he doesn't get it and we will have to go back to "Reaping What You Sow 101".  Tonight when Marc was exiled to his room for yet another "yellow day" because of playing around at school he comes out and says, "Mommy.  Can I least have some entertainment?"


  1. I love the photos! He indeed is an adorable boy! I think your persistence is awesome and a reminder to all of us. :0)

    He'll get it... eventually!

    love ya!

  2. YEP, he's a kid. How will he learn the boundaries if he doesn't push against them? It's up to us as parents and grandparents to be firm so that they learn that there are actual and real boundaries. No is not kids (nor parents) favorite word, but it is a very necessary one to be learned. Keep on being a good parent.
    JerryfromFauq - MPIP'er